Now I am about to halve my client base, and maybe the client base for a lot of counselors. There are only two problems in life, which may subsequently lead to a lot of smaller ones. But, ask yourself if the problem is yours, or someone else’s. Asking this question could solve many other problems. The art is being able to tell the difference between the two. Then letting go, if it’s not your problem.
I have known myself to feel guilty for driving too slowly down a blind country lane, because the car behind is driving so close to my bumper I can count the fillings in the persons teeth. There was one point when if I had a builder over to knock down a wall and I came home from work to find them having a cup of tea and watching my telly, I would have offered them a biscuit.
Since then, I have embraced my inner BITCH! Not to say that being assertive makes you a bitch, in fact I believe there are no negative traits. It's how you choose to use the personality tools we have. Being told that you are good for being nice and bad being nasty, gives us a good and bad view of the world, which in turn makes us judgmental of others. What we normally hate in others, are things we deny in ourselves. The truth is we have the potential for every human reaction, if the right buttons are pushed. Sometimes what is seen as being nasty is actually being strong and is the correct behaviour.
The question to ask yourself, is if your reaction is based on fear or love? Reactions in fear bring out the side of us that is least desirable. Reacting in love is loveable. So next time a driver drives too close I shall pull over and give them a wave and a smile to there finger up, and next time I hire a lazy builder I'm going to kick their butt! Problems solved.
Copyright © 2005 Becky Walsh